Finishing last

My freshman year of high school I ran cross country. It was the perfect sport - you couldn't get cut from the team. To say that I "ran" might be a misnomer. No one ever accused me of being fast. Some encouraged me to "run" - meaning I must not have been. It sure felt like I was running inside.

Going into the last race of the season, I had never placed to win a medal (the top 10 spots). There were 11 runners in this final race. I knew it was my moment. I didn't have to win, I just needed to pick one person and stick to them like peanut butter and then slide by at the end. It ended up not being close - 10 of us finished as a group (I was proudly 10th) and I'm not sure if the 11th finished or not. So, in other words, I was nearly last. Is being last horrible? It defies success to finish last. It's not how I was brought up or ever taught in school (just to clarify, by my senior year I did do well in track - but never cross country). But is it bad to be last?

Just think! Though I did nothing to deserve it, and though I am the least deserving Christian there is, I was chosen for this special joy of telling [others] about the endless treasures available to them in Christ. Ephesians 3:8 (NLT)

That's what the Apostle Paul, an early advocate of Christianity, said about himself. God likes the least and last. He uses them for great purposes. My success means nothing ultimately, but God's work in me and through me means everything. Life is not about finishing first, it's about running the right race with the right power. Paul changed races in his life - he used to hate Christians; but then he became one. He never made much money, never wrote a book (though he did write a lot of letters), never was a celebrity. He was usually hated, and often a prisoner. Not a real successful life. But God chose Him to bring light to millions.

Purpose anyone?

I'm tired of running in hamster wheels. All kinds of crazy motion going no where. The best thing that is happening is that I'm getting a good workout. You gotta love that benefit - running on a treadmill is probably the most boring kind of running, so if I'm going to run I want to run somewhere. The more I run, the thirstier I get, so the more I run to find satisfaction - but it's not there.

Here's the good news, I know I'm here for and with purpose. Life isn't meaningless, it's meaningful as I fulfill my purpose. It's not without difficulty; there's all kinds of difficulty, but I have the opportunity to be courageous in difficulties. Because I can have strength of purpose to overcome, face, and withstand difficult times. What is my purpose?

To shine the Light of the World to everyone I meet, in action and word. On campus, in church, in community, in family: live for Christ. What's that mean? It means I put myself behind the rest. When I got off the hamster wheel to nowhere, I only began to get anywhere as I put myself aside and served Christ and others. It's not about me - that's good news. And it is satisfying. My life is now hidden with Christ in God. I don't have to live a life of self-denial, I live a life of joy and satisfaction because God is my satisfaction. More than denying myself, I want more of Him. He's better than anything I chased hard after on the hamster wheel, because no matter how much I got, I still had to run and got nowhere.

Purpose? I like purpose, and I like satisfaction. I like to live purposefully, courageously, so that I will be more satisfied.

Clutz meets Grace

Grace, what a concept. I don't encounter it much in life. This morning I was driving, and stopped to make a right-hand turn. The (rather expensive) car behind me wasn't all that excited about me stopping to make the turn - at a stop sign none the less. I was honked at, and promptly passed in a rather dangerous maneuver, in city traffic. Maybe they were on their way to the hospital! Or maybe they were an undercover police car chasing Osama bin Laden or someone else who we want to catch. Or maybe they just need a little grace to give a little.

We all need it. I need grace everyday. Not that I'm a clutz, but because I'm a clutz. As hard as I try, life doesn't come out right. I have desires that turn me in the wrong direction. I go the wrong way and need grace to see the light and go the right way. The good thing about Grace is that I, or you, can't ruin it. It is always good, never worn out, and when pure, always given. It does have its requirements though. It doesn't come cheap.

Grace requires faith. Faith in the One who gives grace. Otherwise, we reject the grace. What does that faith look like. It means accepting the grace-giver. It looks like Christ in real life. Check out Ephesians 2, it's all about grace, and forgiveness, and wholeness - even unity. Pretty amazing grace.

Thick Clouds

Ever feel like you want something but can't quite get it? Like the sun on days with thick clouds. You know it's there but... it can't be reached. The sky is gray, the day seems murky, attitudes get sullen. Rain would replenish, sun would refresh, but there's neither. Or, like my son at the grocery store. He wants to play with everything in the cart, but he's strapped in a seat. Twist and strain and cry and mope; it's all useless until he's set free. Cravings, desires, hope gone hopeless.

It's not uncommon. Our souls cry out to open spaces, with no return. Distant, separated, lost. Jeremiah, a prophet of God, knew what it was like. Don't get me wrong, he knew God, but he also knew separation. He spoke about God, "You have covered Yourself with a cloud so that no prayer can pass through." Looking for sun and finding clouds. Jeremiah's experience didn't end there, because later he wrote, "You drew near when I called on You... You have redeemed my life."

Harbor of Grace is meant to be a place where you can look for satisfaction and find it. It is a safe place: express your hunger, your thirst, your journey, your hurt, your confusion, your cloud, and your desire. Pierce the clouds to light.